Monday, 14 March 2016

MY TOP FIVE PARENTING FAILS

After knocking my daughter's head into the corner of a cabinet as I bent down to pick something up for the fifty millionth time in her short life, I thought I'd write about my top five parenting fails so far and what I've learnt from each one. I'm doing this in the hope that I'll either make at least one of you laugh at my horrendous parenting skills or make one of you realise you're not doing that bad of a job really! Or someone will read this and report me to social services, but we'll deal with that later. 

1) Nappies Are Easily Forgettable.  

I was so exhausted after giving birth to Freya (understandably) that I just wanted to sleep and sleep and sleep, so when the midwives changed over in the morning (a good 10 hours after Freya was born) and asked if she was weeing and pooing okay, I was mortified! I'd slept pretty much all night and my poor baby girl was still in the very first nappy her daddy had dressed her in! Oops. 

2) iPhones are unnecessarily big. 

Especially the iPhone 6. WHO NEEDS A PHONE THAT ALMOST COVERS YOUR ENTIRE BABY'S FACE WHEN YOU DROP IT ON THEM?! Need I say any more?

Am I am even worse parent for taking a photo post iPhone dropping because she looks pretty damn cute when she's crying?

3) Door Frames are deceivingly small. 

Like the above point, who wants a door frame that isn't wide enough for you to walk through while cradling your new baby without whacking her head on it as you pass? (To any door frame manufacturers out there, yes I know it was me who misjudged the width of the door frame and not you making dodgy doors but for the sake of not making me look like a totally shitty parent, it's your fault okay?). 

4) I don't clean my own toes enough. 

Why did no one EVER tell me that I needed to clean the fluff out of teeny tiny baby toes?! Obviously I wash her feet when bathing her but at a few weeks old she wasn't having baths every day and for some reason the possibility of toe jam (vom) just didn't cross my mind. I still remember the first time I clocked all that sock fluff between Freya's toes - I almost gagged.

5) Neck Poppers Are Evil. 

You know the ones I'm talking about, the ones on the neck of tshirts when clothes shops can't be bothered to either make the neck bigger or make the neck stretchy. I clipped Freya's skin into one of these a few days ago (accidentally obvs) and she screamed blue murder. It was the first mark I'd ever left on her and I felt awful, but to be fair, if she'd kept her head still it would never happened. #TransferringTheBlameToMakeMyselfFeelBetter.

Hopefully that's made you feel better about some of the parenting fails you've made (don't pretend you haven't had any, we've all been there) and you've had a little chuckle at some of my misfortunes. 

Thanks for reading, 

Grace x